“Thus To All Hackers!”

Sometimes it takes a Lindbergh to make kidnapping a felony. Before 1932, snatching a sleeping child out of their bedroom was only considered a misdemeanor, you know, like J-Walking or rolling through a stop sign. Then, when Charles Lindbergh’s child was kidnapped and held for ransom, the FBI became involved and helped elevate the seriousness of this crime in the national consciousness. Now, in most states, kidnapping is a capitol offense and could be punished with the death penalty.

As it should.

What is my point? I think creating computer crashing virus’ that destroy a hard drive should be considered a crime against humanity and subject to incarceration at either Guantanamo Bay or some other super-secret Amy prison in South America.

A Hacker is sentenced to 20 years at an undisclosed army Detention Center after being convicted for writing a “Cookie Monster Virus” that crashed Lady Gaga’s computer.

Now, all I need is for someone really important person to have their computer totally crash due to some stupid virus a hacker in his underware created for some unknown reason before our nation takes this crime seriously. Personally, I think I would rather have my identity stolen and spend the next few years trying to fix my credit than have my computer get some random virus and it ends up destroying the whole hard drive. Banks will eventually believe that I didn’t take that trip to Florida and buy a Ski-Do, but when I lose my hard drive there is work I will NEVER get back.

My computer did contract a virus that fried my hard drive like a piece of chicken from KFC.  I won’t pretend that this is the reason I’ve not blogged since November. I blame that on the Holidays and a whole lot of merry making, followed up by a really bad hangover. But it did open my eyes to how life might function without a computer. Think about it, how would you react if you suddenly, and without warning, lost everything: every file, every picture, even that geeky but otherwise useless document that listed Pi to 1,000 places?  I was forced to sit in the “Internet Dark” for about 2 weeks, only being able to bum a quick fix from my parents from time to time.

Remember that South Park Episode when they ran out of Internet and Randy Marsh heard there was some out in California-Way? So he packed up his family and moved out west looking for some Internet.

"I hear there is some Internet out California-Way."

(Season 12, Episode 6 in case you have Netflix and wanna watch it)

That’s how I’ve felt for a few weeks. But, I’m back in business with a new HP laptop. Since it’s a PC it should last me a whole 2-3 years before this one crashes, but that’s not until like 2015 and we all know if the Mayans are right, the world will end this December, so I should be all set.

I just wanna make sure that if I do have to hide in a Fallout Shelter and live under ground to avoid the mutated zombies, I want a Fallout Shelter with a Wi-Fi Hotspot. Otherwise, I’ll take my chances with the flesh eating Zombies. Besides, I’ve already written a great survival guide for a Zombie Apocalypse, so I should be well prepared. Check it out here: Things You Never Knew Were Covered By Obama Care.

In other writing news, this crashed computer might have set the parenting book my wife and I have been working on back a bit. Fortunately, we did back up some of these files, but there may be others she has to rewrite. But, I’ve talked her into promoting this new book with a streamlined radio program. I’m actually excited about this so check back periodically for updates and times.


2 thoughts on ““Thus To All Hackers!”

  1. Glad you’re back at it, Aaron! I’m afraid of viruses. I back my novels up on a thumb drive–just in case. Also, email them to myself periodically since you can always access your email should you end up with fried chicken computer innards. Good to see you post again!

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