Have you ever looked at the “Top Searches” on your dashboard? Sometimes they are good for a few chuckles to find out what kind of things might bring all of you fine readers to my site. Such as “Phone In Bra” Yep. Evidently some of you found me by searching for phones in bras. I can only assume you ment to find my post on Mother’s Day this year “Word Association This Mother’s Day: You Say Mother I Say Mammary.” But seriously…did you really find me by looking for “Phone In Bra”? I don’t even want to know what kind of porn you might have under your bed.
Other searches were understandable, such as “Zombies Being Controlled”
Or “Famous Cheat Codes”
But the one that actually concerns me was this one: “Aaron D Graham Cause Of Death.”
Did some of you actually search for my demise…or are you secretly plotting it? Either way, it was a bit disconcerting to see that some of you stumbled on my little peaceful slice of the internet looking for whether or not I was dead.
I assure everyone, I am very much alive.
Which brings me to a rather morbid thought…how would anyone know if I DID in fact have a rather violent collision with a MAC Truck? How would any of you know…come to think of it…I did have that four month sojourn where I didn’t post anything for awhile…
OMG…is that why some of you searched for my death? Did you think I kicked it? Shuffled off my mortal coil? Went belly up in a shallow grave? Expired? Gone the way of a dinosaur? Offed?
I am so sorry! That is actually sad in a hilarious sort of way. Truly, if there was one of my now 38 subscribers who had been wondering why I had not written in 4 months and actually went on line to search google whether or not I had died, I sincerely apologize! If it’s true…I’m a little humbled.
I assue all of you, if I ever find myself on a little boat crossing the river Styx, I will text my agent and have him post an addendum to this blog straightaway, informing everyone of my demise. (Wait a second…I don’t have an agent, so my wife will have to do. Unless of course my wife is with me when the aforementioned MAC truck slams into both of us, in which case our fate will be left up to my mother to post on our behalf…but then again, my mother typically forgets her facebook password and has about 8 different accounts because she keeps making up a new one every time she forgets her old password…
I guess that means ya’ll are just out of luck until I get an agent)
But, between that day and this, I do plan to continue plugging away few times a week in small 500-700 word essays on my rather scribbled, colored way outside the lines, view on life. Even during July, August and September…I knew I would hop on again…eventually.
In fact, I have so recharged my batteries I’ve been tempted to take my own unique twist with this whole NaNo thing. No, I don’t think I will sign up for it, so I wont’ get one of those snazzy little blog banners to post up here in a few days. But, in honor of the NaNoWriMoObAmABaDMaMaJaMa, I am going to outline my own set of goals, which will be updated here. Give me another day or two to iron out the wrinkles, but I have some specific objectives I WANT to accomplish by November 30th.
I just don’t think it will be 50,000,000,000 words on a new novel.
If you have any ideas, feel free to share. Or if you have any writing goals of your own, maybe we could hold each others feet to the fire…while we roast marshmellows and have SMORES.
UPDATE #1 I just ran across this rather inspirational quote for all of us unpublished and unagented writers out here. Check out Laney’s post from today and smile.
UPDATE # 2 I just ran across this rather delightful blog from my Twitter account. MJWright is definatly worth the read, especially if you are a lover of Tolkien as I am!