I’m Seriously Considering Running For President In 2012 As An Independent Write-in Candidate

Some of you might have seen this picture before. With the whole “Occupy Wall Street” protesters clamoring about the privileged 1% elite, he has become a bit of an icon.

There is talk of making him the new poster boy for the GOP in 2012 much like “Joe the Plumber” became an icon in 2008.

But I think he might be on to something.

Sometimes, the most complex problems have the simplest solutions. For about three years, politicians have been arguing back and forth about a comprehensive solution to our troubled world economy. European markets are crashing all over the place. California went belly up and in New York City, the crowded Occupy Wall Street Hippies can’t even find a place to pee.

Personally, I’m upset that McDonalds took the Double Cheese Burger off the Dollar Menu and I’m willing to storm a MickyD’s until those Cooperate Elitists put back on. How dare the rich Bourgeoisie take away my cheap hamburger! 

But I digress.

I think there might be a way to save our floundering economy, balance our $10 trillion deficit crises WITHOUT rising the taxes on the wealthiest 1% of Americans, pay off our national debt (Mostly to China), make Social Security solvent for the next 120 years and set our country on a path of economic prosperity that will be a model for the world for another generation. 

In fact, I’m so confident that my plan will work; I’m seriously considering tossing my hat into the political ring and run for President in 2012 as an independent write-in candidate. I promise you, my plan for America will work and I will lay it out for you in this blog.

As everyone knows, the fastest way to swell a national treasury without raising taxes is to invade a foreign country and take all of their money. The problem is, this is a little on the grey side, ethically speaking. But what if we could find an unlimited supply of Copper, Silver, Gold and Platinum hordes just waiting to be plundered without all those annoying moral side effects?

My fellow Americans, there is and Yes-We-Can!  (That’s kinda catchy. I might have to use that as my upcoming campaign slogan)

My solution is simple: We simply convert the American Dollar into online role playing game economies such as World of Warcraft gold and make it our national currency.

There are a number of advantages to this that make my plan a lucrative one.

1) Many experts estimate that the economy of World of Warcraft is actually stronger than the Euro and the Dollar combined. As of 2010, Blizzard Entertainment announced that there were over 12 million players worldwide. That is not counting all the Elves, Dwarves, Halflings, Orcs, and Gnomes running around out there, each stuffed like a Hobbit’s pipeweed with gold. This represents a thriving economy that is ripe for the plundering.

2) Though I am proud of my country for not pillaging Iraq and Afghanistan while we were there, we did spend an awful lot of money and have very little to show for it. I don’t know about you, but I’m still paying over $3.00 a gallon for gas. Real war is expensive. Each M1 Abrams Tank cost about $65 Million with basic equipment. With extra armor, weapons, and sights it can cost up to $120 Million and it takes a lot of tanks to go to war.

Plus, they keep getting blown up.

But a Masterwork Elementium Deathblade is only about 10,000 gold pieces (depending on which Korean kid you buy it from) And if you are worried about its stats, keep in mind this puppy is far superior than the Obsidian Executioner. It has a top swing speed of 3.8 and wields a damage of 3,256!

3) Finally, our society can never stomach the brutal realities of a real war, but who would really lose too much sleep if we slaughtered a village of these guys?




So there it is. My simple, straight forward plan to solving the world’s economic woes; a new plan for the future with limitless possibilities for prosperity, economic growth and the expanse of freedom, democracy and capitalism across the globe. It is morning in America and we have a bright future ahead of us where our greatest warriors will be the very guys we picked on in gym class 15 years ago.

PS: Someone once told me that I have the most odd assortment of Tags they’ve ever seen. I have no idea what they are talking about.


3 thoughts on “I’m Seriously Considering Running For President In 2012 As An Independent Write-in Candidate

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