Friday makes me proud to have a job because I wouldn’t enjoy the weekend as much if I were unemployed. What would be the point of Friday if it felt the same as Wednesday? Having a job makes me proud to be an American because in America there are no cats. Being an American makes me proud to be a Human being because:
“What a piece of work is a man! How noble in Reason! How infinite in faculties! In form and moving how express and admirable! In action how like an Angel! In apprehension how like a god!”
Yes, how noble in reason indeed. Like the Columbian doctor who was just sentenced up to 8 years for a peculiar buttocks enhancement procedure. Tragically, the patient died during the operation, but the doctor may need to remember the surgery when he goes upstate. It may come in handy. I’m just sayin’.
Oh, the things we are capable of when we set our minds to it! How infinite in faculties!
Such as our fascination with midgets. From a Munchkinland to Minnie-Me, we have turned these unique expressions of our DNA into icons of the 20th century. Like the little guy on COPS who didn’t want to go to jail.
We have always liked Midgets. Even if it’s just to watch them climb a pole. But I have noticed business owners using this fascination to draw a crowd. Recently, a bar in the Dallas Ft. Worth area advertised “Midget Wrestling” to entice a crowd.
Is this exploiation? If it’s ok to watch two Midgets wrestle (For a $10 cover charge at the door) would you also pay to watch a 280 lb regular sized adult bouncer hurl a Midget across the room and market it as “Dwarf Tossing?” I think tossing these little guys across the room is going a bit too far. Evidently in New York and Florida, the State Legislators agree with me and have made it illegal to toss a Dwarf in a place that is licensed to serve alcohol.
In form and moving how express and admirable!
On the other hand, have you ever read some of these bizarre laws that were passed a hundred of years ago and are still on the books? You wonder where they came from, such as in Texas it is still illegal to shoot Buffalo from a second story hotel window. Yep. I ain’t kiddin. Now, mow ‘em down all you want with your automatic riffle from the ground floor, but don’t you dare shoot ‘em from the second floor.
That’s not fair to the Buffalo, after all.
In a hundred years there will be a Blogger (or whatever they use in a hundred years to keep a running log of an individuals thoughts on a variety of subjects) and this futuristic Journalist will read this law about not being able to toss a Dwarf in a place that is licensed to serve alcohol and think, “Who were these crazy Americans that needed to pass a law that made it illegal to toss a Dwarf?”
In a thousand years, some Archeologist will run across this law and write a ground breaking book in which he/she reveals that our National Pastime was not Baseball, but in fact Midget Tossing. (Until a Prohibition movement was started in New York and Florida that banned this barbaric practice)
“In action how like an Angel! In apprehension how like a god!”